Mother and father were codependent and abusive, but I felt like I (F) was in love with my mother?

2021.12.06 03:26 dulcehuelga Mother and father were codependent and abusive, but I felt like I (F) was in love with my mother?

I am currently the age (27F) my mother was when she had me, and ever since I started having intimate relations with men and women, I've noticed that I think about my parents a lot more and I treat them all like the relationship I had with my mother. I highly suspect she is a narcissist and I was part of her narcissistic supply until I cut off ties with her.
My father was textbook alcoholic who was violent against the mother of his children and exhibited intense paranoid delusions that my mother was cheating on him with any man who smelled her oxygen. After they separated when I was 12, I became obsessed with knowing where my mother was and I also suspected she was cheating ON ME with any man that came her way. Although she already had a new man before her and my father ended things, I felt like that man stole her from me. And up until about a year ago, she verbally admitted that she knew I felt unloved throughout my life by her because I felt like I had to compete with her Beau for her love.
Also, we used to cuddle very closely and tightly until I was maybe 24 for hours or until I fell asleep, and she would tuck me into bed up until that age too. She would also always say how proud of me she was for keeping my virginity like a good daughter and that once I had a man I wouldn't be hers anymore. There were also a couple, only like two, times where I woke up without a shirt or bra on and she was there, it has never happened in any other context or situation, not even while being sexually active. I just felt weird about it because I'd never do thay knowingly but she said I did it in my sleep. There are also other weird things that happened when I was a kid like her holding me during sex and stuff but I really do feel like I was in love with her. I think of myself as a queer lady but it makes me feel so ashamed that I had these feelings about my mother. I even remember listening to love songs and heartbreak songs and only being able to think about my mother. And I haven't been able to ever hold a stable relationship that doesn't fall apart after quite literally a week.
What does it feel like to fall in love with someone? All I have is this association to my mother.
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2021.12.06 03:26 PozzArt392339 Just introduced fruitin'🍄. Any tips?

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2021.12.06 03:26 Zave0820 Selling Valorant Account

Current Rank: D2
Had this account since beta and I don't use it anymore. It's just a smurf account.
It has both glitchpop bundle, Prime 1.0 bundle, and some more. The account value from the purchase history is $445.07
Selling for $250
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2021.12.06 03:26 rayzerblayd This story depresses me every time.

This story depresses me every time. submitted by rayzerblayd to memes [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 OrganicYoda TB when I took my sister's cla45 for a drive in the mountain.

TB when I took my sister's cla45 for a drive in the mountain. submitted by OrganicYoda to AMG [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 DistinctIllusion I submitted a map for Winterfest and still haven’t received an email, I am very nervous as this doesn’t seem usual, is there something wrong?

I submitted a map for Winterfest and still haven’t received an email, I am very nervous as this doesn’t seem usual, is there something wrong? submitted by DistinctIllusion to FortniteCreative [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 juanpa52 So… was it always „Foci“ or is this just my first time seeing this? 😶‍🌫️

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2021.12.06 03:26 thecodersblock Can someone please help me find this song that played during ESL's break? 🙏

It starts around here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1222694471?t=4h35m00s
I can't find it anywhere on the internet! It only plays for ~30 seconds, not sure if there's a full version. Please help! I'm legit in love with her vocals 😍
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2021.12.06 03:26 grillledmagikarp What do you think is the main lesson in Squid Game?

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2021.12.06 03:26 Bone_Her_Sauce A girl mistaking me for someone else and/or lying about me sending her unsolicited nudes.

A girl mistaking me for someone else and/or lying about me sending her unsolicited nudes. submitted by Bone_Her_Sauce to mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 Click_rats 5 below cookies

5 below cookies submitted by Click_rats to Cookierun [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 FreudianMommy Call me Quentin Tarantino cause damn do I love feet

What was the question again?
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2021.12.06 03:26 Least2020-2022 王一博VS周冬雨,電影《長空之王》的“神仙陣容”!-Wang Yibo VS Zhou Dongyu, the "fairy lineup" o...

王一博VS周冬雨,電影《長空之王》的“神仙陣容”!-Wang Yibo VS Zhou Dongyu, the submitted by Least2020-2022 to ReferChina [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 narrowRoadAhead Need help in getting into Apple ecosystem. iPad or iPhone?

Need help in exploring Apple device ecosystem for first time as an UX designer. I have worked on windows/android focused projects and planning to support apple devices as well.
I think using the device will help me to understand much better including the HCI guidelines.
Shall I go for an iPad as it cost same as iPhone but I can use for other "creativity" purposes as well?
Are there any huge difference between iOS and iPadOS?
submitted by narrowRoadAhead to UX_Design [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 tremor100 Stop saying / justifying that "well the gameplay is good", its not.

People are confusing shooting mechanics for gameplay. Even that isn't perfect as there are about 5 guns that are worthless to pick up currently, but at least thats balancable.
The gameplay is factually not good and its the other downsides of the game bleeding into said gameplay.
-having my teammates crash at the start of ranked constantly and having to play ranked arena 3v4 or 2v4 is not good gameplay. I have this happen to me or the enemy team in literally 70%+ of my ranked games. It could also be people just leaving because they don't give a shit becasue there is no penalty and its F2P.
-having people spam leave my game in quickplay because of crashes or because its not the gamemode they want, only to abritrarily get sometimes backfilled by a bot, sometimes backfilled by a player is not good gameplay.
-Having my teammate fucking off the entire game because hes trying to kill a banshee with a grenade from a warthog passenger seat is not good gameplay.
-Have no actual progression system and wins and losses not counting creates monotunous and bad gameplay.
-Having ranked centered around KDA then putting objective maps incentivises bad gameplay experiences for teammates.

They don't even get a pass on gameplay so stop pretending that this is whats going to keep the whales. All my friends that had a blast week 1 have stopped playing becasue the game is completely pointless right now. You aren't working towards anything, everyone looks the same. The shooting for a halo game feels pretty good.. that isnt enough to make spamming the same handful of maps with all the issues above a gameplay hook. Stop giving them a free pass.. they want to talk about how key QA is to their SDLC (software development lifecyle) explain how a massive group of designers and devs never tried any of this shit and thuogh "wow this feels bad" when we have 343 members agreeing on twitter that "yea winning 17 games for an emblem is a grind..." where was the QA on that.. This isn't a tiny studio with 3 people doing everything.. its a massive studio with infiniate budget and a shitload of time who made all these oversights.
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2021.12.06 03:26 HabitOk6839 did anyone notice the similarities between these two? Like at all

did anyone notice the similarities between these two? Like at all submitted by HabitOk6839 to BethesdaSoftworks [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 IGbelowthehiphop 2 YEARS AGO! Roddy Rich dropped..

2 YEARS AGO! Roddy Rich dropped.. submitted by IGbelowthehiphop to RoddyRicch [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 ishir4921 It’s finally been asked

It’s finally been asked submitted by ishir4921 to memes [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 Competitive-Dot-2830 Paja

Alguien quiere pajearse con Amaranta?
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2021.12.06 03:26 TheHighElite What's your best how did manage to do that moment?

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2021.12.06 03:26 angrybluetooth Beach collection of Ileana D'Cruz

Beach collection of Ileana D'Cruz submitted by angrybluetooth to SouthIndianBeauty [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 Rhinozz_the_Redditor Did you buy computers from Seattle Computer Products or Lomas Data Products in the early 1980s? You could have an important piece of history.

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2021.12.06 03:26 Fiordusz shitposts subs hating on furries > antifurries > furries

shitposts subs hating on furries > antifurries > furries submitted by Fiordusz to Furryhatezone [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 ziuarajabi کرمی که کیودی پای تو ویدیو هاش استفاده میکنه🤣🤣

کرمی که کیودی پای تو ویدیو هاش استفاده میکنه🤣🤣 submitted by ziuarajabi to Qdpay [link] [comments]


2021.12.06 03:26 King_Kong_The_eleven HVAD ALENA PPTINY YES ❤

HVAD ALENA PPTINY YES ❤ submitted by King_Kong_The_eleven to nosafetysmokingfirst [link] [comments]


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